You get used to the gray and wet. Maybe you’ll always feel guilty, for disappearing in the dark months, or maybe even that will go away. It’s a time to hide away. To rest, to regain strength. To sleep nine hours nightly, to make up for the six or seven hours you’ll get on the average summer night. To feel cozy and warm with the rain pounding outside, and the night so dark you can see only yourself /your reflection in the windows.